Thursday, June 29, 2006

Dog Tags

I want to run like my dog. Before I start this, for those of you who really want to know… tape removal without olive oil hurts. Don’t try it. Pack a bra! and if you're a male reader (stupid to say... why not "if you're a man" as if there are male gorillas, hagfish, or servals reading), then you should still pack a bra. Women don't get blooooody nipples. The key? A jog bra. So get over your issues about running in drag! Did I mention I want to run like my dog? She’s a greyhound. Little waist, big muscular booty, dainty ankles. Would be a hottie if not for a bad overbite. As Greyhound Adoption Program (GAP) volunteers, we’re occasionally treated to outings by the Greyhound Racing Authority (GRA). Over here, GRA sees the benefit of getting these athletes into new homes. They sponsor many things and are very supportive. While I am not a fan of any sort of betting, I do understand that it will never leave and it’s best to work with, not against, the program. The greyhound racing thing is also less institutionalised here than in the U.S. In the States, the dogs are kept at the track. Over here, they’re usually with the trainer. While that’s not home life, it’s better than living at the track. We’ve been to two V.I.P. cups to promote the program. VIP is a dog food brand and is, I believe, the main ingredient to meat pies. So punters (gamblers) can see that these dogs are companion animals and available for adoption. Mark and I don’t gamble, but we’ll enjoy our free meal and watch the dogs run. Spot the one that looks like Tamale! Guess which one will be in the program next. I’d lie to tell you that it’s not fun to watch them run. They do love to run. I just want their retirement secured. But I want to run like them. I’m not talking about running in a spandex top with no bottoms. I’m not talking about sprinting on packed sand. I’m talking about the attitude. The dogs are taken to a spot of grass where they wait until they’re put in a pin next to the course. The lure goes around twice and the trainers make sure the dogs see it and get pumped. Even Jonesy who was the GAP dog on promo for race #4 one night was just shaking and pulling… Let me run, Katy, I can get it this time! They are then put into the starting box, the race starts, they run blah blah blah… At the end of the race, the lure passes a point where an arm swings down guiding the dogs to the catching area. The catchers are there to get their dog and to walk back to the vet to make sure all is well. The dogs, having run their fine booties off, are jumping and wagging their tails. Even though they’re completely knackered, they’re spazzy. Due to the anatomy of a greyhound (flexible spine) they can run at incredible speeds but not for long periods. They do not run the days before or after a race. They sleep it off. So knowing this, I’m amazed that at the end of the race, they’re still so happy to see one of their trainers. You don’t see this anywhere with human runners. At the end of the race, even the winner, draped in her flag, looks totally wiped out. Might smile an exhausted, but we all know there is little room for jumping and prancing. I want to run like this. I need to go to the Gold Coast and look at the runners and shake with excitement. I need to not be worried, I need to be totally beside myself. Santa who? Gimme a run! Let me stand in a designated area, show me the finisher’s shirt. Taunt me with it. Light the fire in my belly. Must... chase... free except for the price of entry shirt.... must... have... bragging.... rights. Show me my prize for this effort. Oooooh, my tail’s wagging! Can you see it? swish swish swish. I also want to be able to finish with such excitement that I wiggle my booty, search desperately for Mark, lick his face and repeatedly jump on him. I know that resting comes later, but until that time comes, I’M SO HAPPY TO BE HERE and smile without effort. And I want someone to hug me like this and say I was the best runner ever and promise me a cookie. And I want someone to put me in my snuggy jammies (it's winter here), carry my broken body to my bean bag, drape a woolly bankie over me, and gimme a kiss nuh-nite. I really don't ask for much. **** Oooooh. Had a Gold Coast Marathon dream last night. It was after the race and I was thinking as I was in bed that I didn't hurt enough. Not like I did my other times. Then I sat up... I DIDN'T DO THE ENTIRE RACE! ...and I was going to be in trouble. **** and ooooooh times five divided by .43 and all of that squared... i've been tagged by a cookie. I wonder if she got crumbs down my skivvies. Never been tagged before. Wheee. While I'm sure you've all done this before, I have not. I was the last in my 4th grade class to see Grease. I'm always last. Trust me. Just wait until I finish the Gold Coast limping in just under 9384573984 hours..... 4 jobs I've had: dish dog at dormitory cafeteria/mensa (I can tell you what an egg does in a ceiling fan) grad assistant (German) @ miami university, 4th grade math teacher @ Lamplighter in Dallas, temp at a govt department in brisbane 4 movies I watch over and over: Jaws A Fish Called Wanda Thelma & Louise Princess Bride 4 Places I have lived: Dallas, TX Oxford, OH Vienna, Austria Brisbane, Australia.... and yes, I've lived in both AustRia and AustRALia and I still mix up the words. I know the places but the words tumble out wrong. 4 TV shows I watch: Desperate Housewives Lost Inspector Rex various shows on ABC (like PBS in Oz) 4 Places I've been on Vacation: Silverton, CO Green Island on Great Barrier Reef (long before I met the toast stud!) Coastal Maine. A Bar... but not Bar Harbor. One of those. Toulon and Villard de l'ans, France 4 Websites I visit everyday: cnn 4 Favorite Foods: garlic! carrot cake chocolate silk pie raspberries 4 Places I'd rather be right now: in bed on a lazy long weekend (perhaps a Sunday before a work-free Monday) with a good book and toast stud on a year long tour of Germany, France & Italy (also the teams I'm rooting for in that order in the cup. Sorry yanks and aussies, I'm true to these only) on a long pain free run knowing I can run the next day with out pain, too. Been a long time. Lake Austin Spa 4 Favorite Bands/Singers: Barenaked Ladies XTC (80s) Beethoven's symphonies Aimee Mann 4 Bloggers I'll tag: The Black Knight, fierce Italian...Keeper of Rome The Black Knight 2, another keeper of Rome and collector of plushy dogs den laufenden Marcus, perhaps the only German to leave Germany in the time of the World Cup. Rumor has it, he's not being allowed back in. Peezbowe. She sometimes goes by Bella, but I'm not fooled. She's also needing a little oomf.

you provide the best early morning reading anyone could ever need....entertaining and "informative"
that marathon is coming up quick, isn't it? to run like a dog puts things in a whole new perspective. you'll have a fine run - it sounds like it's all in your head as it should be with the dreams you're having.

garlic - I forgot garlic on my list! how can you live day to day without it?
My favorite t-shirt that I bought while traveling in AustRIA: There are no kangaroos in Austria! :D
No way. I'm back in germany but somehow I can't keep my eyes closed at 4:40 am...which the time here right now! Damn the jetlag!!
great post! I don't shake my booty after marathons but I do after triathlons! And therein lies the difference between the two sports!
The movies you listed explain a lot about your sense of humor. I hope the marathon went well, or is going well. I can never figure out the time difference.
Thank you very much to have tagged me. It is a real honour and I am proud of it my gracious Lady.
I got this infection last january and you can see my answers on
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My & My hubby’s blogs.

Hopeful Attempts at Glory

Runners (okay, some might be triathaletes, but I think one third of the Tri is running. Or it could be curling).

Greyhound Links

Other blogs I check

  • Love, Charlie
  • a simple photo blog of an Iggy (Italian greyhound). one photo a day except for saturday.
  • Cute Overload
  • i check this daily before work. sometimes i see people with really ugly feet and i need a recent photo to keep the mental damage from becoming keloid scars.
  • Threadbared
  • this is a great collection of scans from old tacky craft (sewing, knitting, crochet) patterns. archives to the side are also done by decade. the 70s section is a gem.
  • You Knit What?!
  • like Threadbared, this is a collection of "what were you thinking" in the knitting sphere. while i am a knitter and love the rebirth it's experiencing, i think there is always the need for editing ideas. and boy do the comments get bitchy!
  • Stuff on My Cat
  • Oh ... just an example why the internet is great!
  • Kitten War!
  • Have I said how great the internet is yet?
  • Strindberg and Helium
  • August Strindberg's thoughts punctuated by his balloon friend, Helium
  • Pixieland's Peter Pan
  • i love this guy! he is who he is. we're losing these people today as the world gets more beige.
  • Candyboots's Weight Watcher's cards
  • THE BEST LOOKING BAD FOOD EVER! i'll pay you to make it and eat it!

Site I Try to Promote

  • Gay Wedding Fodder
  • Two Brides dot Com
  • Do you really think homosexuals marrying will destroy straight marriages? Of course you don't. While dem dare home'sayk'shuls can't have a "propper" wedding recognized by 49 states, they can at least have a place to go to throw a great civil union ceremony. My friend is the blonde in the first photo you see on 2Brides.